Lost - A Small Brass Lamp

Kew Gardens — February 19, 2026

LOST: Small brass lamp, tarnished, approximately 6 inches tall. Lost somewhere at the Royal Botanic Gardens on Friday afternoon. IMPORTANT: Do not clean it under any circumstances. It's an antique! If found, please contact Maria at 718-555-0147. Cash reward offered. Serious inquiries only. No questions asked. I don't want to know.

The Herald reports information as received. Don't believe everything you read on the internet.

Parodied in Brooklyn Established in 1836 by Jeremiah Wickford